Category: Opinion

Willpower is bullshit

One of the most common mistakes centered around nutrition is the belief that your will is strong enough to stop you eating shit. This simply isn’t true. If there’s shit around chances are that at some point you will indulge.

The simplest – and perhaps sole – way of enforcing a good diet is to remove all the shit that us currently in your pantry and fridge.

If there’s no shit around it becomes very hard to eat shit.

Tests of your strength of will should take place elsewhere, not in the kitchen. A bad day at the office can see a whole block of chocolate disappear. A spat with your partner and the whiskey bottle takes a nudge. You get the gist.

Free yourself from the temptation and throw the shit out today.

The true definition of will power

The true definition of will power

Tap water is shit

It’s time to polarise the people. I contend that tap water is pooh poohs. And I know that some scientists (almost certainly government paid) insist that tap water is a-ok. Here’s the rub: tap water has fluoride added it, purportedly because we’re all too retarded to take care of our own dental hygiene. The thing is fluoride is bad for you. Apparently it’s good for your teeth (I don’t think so, read this) but it’s certainly bad news for the rest of you. (As an aside, I’ve started using homemade natural toothpaste consisting of coconut oil, bi-carb soda and peppermint essence and my teeth feel and look better than ever!)

The fluoride that is added to our water supply is not naturally occurring. In fact, as per my stance on not eating shit you can’t pronounce you should avoid tap water as the scientific names of the stuff being added includes hydrofluorocilicic acid, hexafluorisilisic acid and sodium silicofluroride (source). Who can actually pronounce that shit?

Our water supply also contains chlorine. Yep, like the stuff they put in pools so we can swim in them after other assholes have gone pee pee in the water.

Let’s look at why fluoride and chlorine are bad for us:

Fluoride may cause:

  • dental fluorosis
  • cancer (debated)
  • gastrointestinal disorders
  • mouth sores
  • skin rashes
  • headaches
  • arthritis

Read more.

Chlorine may cause:

What does all this mean? Well there’s shit in your local tap water that makes it bad for you.

Oh yeah, I hear water contains mercury too. Egad! What else is in it?

dirty water

Mmm mmm mmm. Yummy water.

Who should you do? I see two options: 1. get yourself a whiz-bang water filter or 2. buy bottled water (but choose carefully because some of it is crap too). Or you could just stick you head in the sand and hope for the best.

Note: I have a philosophical issue with bottled water due to the actually bottles (too much waste). I also have trust issues with the big companies that produce bottled water. My plan is to invest in a pricey yet awesome filter for home. Your life, your call.

(Perhaps) you don’t know shit

A couple of posts back I encouraged you to know thy shit. It strikes me however that chances are you don’t know shit.

Allow me to elaborate… I contend that you most likely have absolutely no idea what more then half the stuff sitting in your pantry is. Go ahead, grab a box of something or other. Go on, I’ll wait. Righty-o. Now read the ingredients. Yes, I’ll wait again.

Ok. How many items on the box can you either:

  • not read
  • not pronounce
  • have no idea what it is or where it came from, or
  • all of the above

Now, if the above is in fact true then you’ve been eating shit. You might mean well but if you don’t know what it is I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s shit. (I’ll allow for a small margin of error for those with poor reading skills – this blog should pose no such issues.)

What’s the solution? A-ha! Simply really. Throw that shit out. It’s time for a cull. Open the doors and turf boxes, tins, bags, bottles or otherwise that contain ingredients that you don’t know everything about. And have fun!

We ain't found shit

What the Spaceballs will be saying when they look in your pantry.

Too much fructose is shit

Dr Robert Lustig has been calling fructose poison for some time now. He deems it to be toxic. There may be some truth to this. The jury seems to be out on this one.

What is true is that excessive intake of fructose is bad for you. Lustig’s assertion that fructose ingested without the whole fruit being a major problem does make sense. It is when we crazy humans do stupid shit like process sugar and add it to stuff that we make problems for ourselves.

If you have 90 minutes up your sleeve watch this video of Lustig’s big presentation on fructose metabolism.

Then read Chris Kresser’s thoughts and Alan Aragon’s dissection.

Short story:

  • Don’t eat a lot of fruit
  • Don’t eat processed foods with added fructose
  • Avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague

In the end – and here’s the kicker – if you’re fat it’s your fault!

Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman knows the truth and he has a solution!

No shit Sherlock!

Getting hung up on which diet you follow is just plain silly.

The name of your diet is irrelevant.

Don’t get caught up in fads, cults and hysteria.
Be sensible. A good diet is a good diet is a good diet.
A shit diet is, well, it’s shit. Get it?

Paleo is cool but let’s stop all the faff about cavemen okay.
Atkins is nice but all those products make me feel ill.
I heard Bill Clinton was on the South Beach Diet whatever the hell that is.

Any diet worth following will adhere to the following two precepts:

  1. Eat real food
  2. Don’t eat shit

QED.

I deduce that your diet is shit.

By a process of deduction I conclude that your diet is shit.