Gluten is some seriously bad shit!

At the core of the Don’t Eat Shit Diet lies the simple concept that if you avoid the really nasty foods you’ll be a whole lot better off. The great thing is that you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to work this out for yourself.

Alas I am often forced to remind people that ignorance is no excuse. And one of the first things you must do if you’re going to stop eating shit is to remove gluten from your diet. Gluten is one of the two main nasties I identify in the Don’t Eat Shit Diet (the other is sugar). Most people don’t know what gluten is, which foods contain it, or what it can do to you. Suffice to say it’s some bad shit and you should just steer clear.

Check the awesome infographic below from Gluten Dude. Do you suffer from any of the issues listed? Are you still eating gluten? Time to smarten up your act then, eh?

Gluten causes some bad juju (thanks Gluten Dude)

Gluten causes some bad juju (thanks Gluten Dude)


Take a good look at your shit

It honestly surprises me how many people are averse to looking at their own pooh. Seriously, some people can’t bring themselves to peer into the bowl after a solid teeth grinding session of defecation.

All jokes aside it really is worth taking a regular look at what comes out of the other end. It can tell you quite a lot about your digestive health and – by extension – your health in general.

Mr Paul Chek – superstar holistic health guru – has a bit to say about poop, I recommend you read his article titled “Tips for pooping better“. And also do a little research into what your stools should look like.

Believe or not, I’m no pooh expert. So, I can’t tell you what each type of pooh indicates. If you think you have an issue, get some professional medical advice and always continue to educate yourself.

Stop eating shit is a good place to start if you’re output is looking a little dodgy.

The Poop Line Up by Paul Chek

The Poop Line Up by Paul Chek

(Perhaps) you don’t know shit

A couple of posts back I encouraged you to know thy shit. It strikes me however that chances are you don’t know shit.

Allow me to elaborate… I contend that you most likely have absolutely no idea what more then half the stuff sitting in your pantry is. Go ahead, grab a box of something or other. Go on, I’ll wait. Righty-o. Now read the ingredients. Yes, I’ll wait again.

Ok. How many items on the box can you either:

  • not read
  • not pronounce
  • have no idea what it is or where it came from, or
  • all of the above

Now, if the above is in fact true then you’ve been eating shit. You might mean well but if you don’t know what it is I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s shit. (I’ll allow for a small margin of error for those with poor reading skills – this blog should pose no such issues.)

What’s the solution? A-ha! Simply really. Throw that shit out. It’s time for a cull. Open the doors and turf boxes, tins, bags, bottles or otherwise that contain ingredients that you don’t know everything about. And have fun!

We ain't found shit

What the Spaceballs will be saying when they look in your pantry.

Grow your own shit

The only way to ensure you know where your food comes from and how it has been produce is to do it yourself. Now sure it might be tough for most of us to farm our own beef but we can certainly grow our own herbs, fruit and vegetables. And for some keeping chickens to produce eggs isn’t too great a stretch.

If you have a yard, then you have the space for a vegetable garden. You don’t need the grass or the concrete or all the pretty trees. You do need food. Even if you only have a small balcony you can still grow your own herbs. If you have no room at all outdoors you can look into the indoor options.

There really are no excuses. Don’t have the time? Bullshit. I recently planted a 50 m2 vegetable garden over two weekends. I put in a total of about 10 hours work. If I can find time while running my own business and wrangling two kids under five years of age then you can too.

Need more info? Make Google your friend.

Grow your own

Yep, you can save money too.

Know thy shit

Ignorance is not an excuse.

It is completely up to you to understand what good food is and what shit is.

If you are constantly getting sick, if you feel lethargic all the time or if you are overweight then perhaps taking a good hard look at what you consume is well worth your while. Yes yes other factors can be involved in ill health. The truth remains that a healthy diet will assist regardless.

You should know:

  • which foods you are allergic to
  • which foods you are sensitive to
  • which foods make you feel ill

In fact, you should know how each and every food you eat affects you. That means sleep, moods, digestion, flatulence, joint pain etc.

Your diet is up to you. Stop complaining. Stop talking shit. Start taking responsibility.

Calvin and Hobbes discuss ignorance